For the last six months or so, I’ve been working on a mommy blog and trying to garner traffic for it. I’ve been writing things I know like how to work from home with a baby (both doable and impossible), easy pregnancy lunches (for when you’re exhausted but feel like you need to eat healthily), and how to help your baby love tummy time (inspired by my son who would scream whenever he was on his tummy). This is the type of content Pinterest loves, and so, it’s the type of content I’ve been writing.
I want to state first that there is value in this type of content. These how-to blogs, ultimate guides, and checklists can be helpful and are often essential to new mothers trying to figure out life with a child on their own. Pinterest can even serve as almost a type of community for new mothers or just lonely mothers who are trying so hard to keep it together.
But wow, am I sick of that kind of content. Because it feels so surface level. It’s like you’re drowning, and someone’s handing you a band-aid. Here are some easy and nutritious breakfasts because even if you haven’t eaten yet that day, you need to make sure your kid has a healthy start.
I had a rough pregnancy, and immediately after my son was born, when they plopped him on my chest, I remember thinking, “Oh, that was worth it.” And I stand by that. My son is such a joy in my life, and he is worth it. But this is so hard.
I’m the first in my friend group to have a kid, and I can’t even begin to tell you how isolating it is. How exhausting it is. How consistently clueless you are. How almost no one around you understands what’s happening to you, and you don’t either.
So, when I write content, I want to attempt to explain what’s going on in my life. I want to try and explain how basic needs have gone out the window because my main focus is now making sure my son is eating healthy, getting enough mental stimulation, and even pooping regularly. My husband and I have joked that nothing gets done around the house unless it needs to get done for our son. Our laundry piles up, but his never does.
But this is such a difficult experience to relate to someone who has no idea what you’re talking about. The only comparison I can make is to chronic illness.
I have been chronically ill my entire life, and there are a lot of similarities between new motherhood and chronic illness. You’re exhausted all the time, but you can’t really stop because life doesn’t stop. Your friends don’t understand unless they’re like you, and you even lose friends. I have essentially lost friends who didn’t want to stick around and deal with my chronic illness, and I have also essentially lost friends who don’t want to stick around and deal with my child. Most importantly, you’re isolated by your experiences, and everyone who gets it is too tired or busy to connect with you.
I am not truly alone. I understand that. There are mothers all over social media, including Pinterest, who are desperate for connection and help. But being in constant survival mode has separated us.
We should write more about that, so we can feel less alone and maybe figure out how to find each other.